Which Relationships Really Matter?

Two friends went backpacking into the wilderness. They woke one morning and were standing next to their tent having a cup of coffee. Suddenly, they spotted a grizzly bear heading towards them at full speed. Instantly, one man reached down, grabbed his tennis shoes and quickly started to put them on. The other man looked at him and said “are you crazy? Do you really think you can outrun that grizzly bear?” His friend replied “no I do not need to; all I need to do is outrun you!”

This is a classic example of expecting too much from a relationship/someone that is not even worth your while in the first instance.

A lot of people split the people they relate with into two groups – friends and enemies – and are quick to trust and confide in whoever falls into their category of friends. However, even amongst friends, there are three groups of people.

The first are the CONFIDANTS; confidants as the name implies are those you can confide in. They are friends that stick with you through thick and thin for no reason other than the fact that they are true friends. This kind of relationships are usually symbiotic not parasitic and even though you both are not in the same societal class, they are not interested in using you as a stepping stone to make progress. They are the people that understand you, can vouch for you, can stand up for you, encourage you and correct you if need be. They are trustworthy people you should never loose.

The next set of friends is the COMRADES; these are the people that become your friend because/when there is a common enemy. It is often said that two fighting dogs become allies when a wolf comes along. In the same vein, these people are people you would usually not get close to as a result of their behavioural repertoire; however you become close in order to fight a common enemy. It is easy to fall into the trap of confiding in this group of people because the knee-jerk thought you have when you get closer to them may be “and they are not that bad after all” but the truth is that you should never confide in them unless you have given yourself ample time to study them and have not found them wanting. Because these people are fighters; you can be sure that they will fight you after the common enemy has been defeated.

The third set of friends is the CONSTITUENTS; these are ‘bread and butter’ friends. They are those that are your friends because of what they can get from you. The funny thing is that initially they will appear very nice however if you study them for long enough, you will realise that they just want to use you as stepping stones to get to where they are going. They  like Judas, will sell you out at the slightest opportunity or for the psaltriest sum of money. Most times, they are just your friends because they want to be able to brag about the fact that they know you.

It is important that you identify which group each of your friends fall so that you will know which relationships are worth investing in and which people to to protect yourself from.

Source: Femme Lounge